When I saw my name and new job title in the long awaited restructure announcement, my heart sank. It was a role I’d done about six years ago and was a massive blow to my professional pride. I knew I wouldn’t be happy and that I’d have to make the decision to move on.

However, making the decision to move on was way scarier than I ever thought it would be. I wasn't just deciding to move on, I was also deciding what to move on to. I found myself in a very uncomfortable, messy and emotional place chasing myself around in circles. 

Internal conflicts

My logical self said it was time to move on and I shouldn’t take a role that was wrong for me. This was my chance to experiment with more flexible ways, of working, possibly my own business. My emotional self said I’d always been an employee and have no idea how to run my own business. I’d worked hard to get where I was and I couldn’t throw it all away.

My emotional self was terrified of everything my logical self said and my decision-making abilities stalled under the weight of fear and panic.

I tried doing the new role but was consumed with anger and disappointment. I wasn’t sleeping. It was obvious I couldn’t carry on but despite my unhappiness, the decision remained scary. After a few inspirational moments, I accepted the situation wasn't going to 'get' comfortable, emotions are part of change and I had to just go for it. 

Flying away

So despite being terrified I started taking action. I talked to the Human Resources team and my manager about my redundancy options. I created a high level 'next steps' plan and did a budget. Then an interesting thing happened.  The once uncomfortable, messy and emotional situation slowly started to ease. The more action I took the better things got. Finally excitement started to creep in and I found myself ready for change. My beloved bluebird of happiness will carry me through, as it has done most of my life.

What I've learned

• Making a big career change is scary

• Being scared is part of change and we have to decide anyway

• Taking action helps to reduce the fear

• Feeling scared is temporary