Fear doesn’t have to drive what we do
Fear turns up in our lives all the time, even when we're not in any real danger. Which can be very confusing. My life coach Jo Robertson's simple explanation about fear helped me understand why this happens.
Fear is there to help us
Jo told me our fear responses come from an old part of our brain called the amygdala. Her nickname for the amygdala is the fear gremlin. The fear gremlin's job is to scan the environment and warn us of danger, disaster, and scarcity. It wants to keep us safe and help us survive.
In modern urban life, there are fewer physical threats than back in the day. But the fear gremlin still works in the same way. It constantly scans the environment for danger. Then warns us of potential threats to our survival. The fear gremlin can't tell the difference between a perceived threat and actual threat, so it generates the same level of fear regardless. A bit like the smoke alarm going off when you burn your toast!
Challenging fear
Our fear gremlins are doing what they’re designed to do. We can’t turn them off. They will always warn us of danger and we need them too. But we shouldn't let the fear they generate control everything we do. Jo suggests that we should accept our fear gremlins will always come along for the ride. We should be grateful for their warnings, but they don’t have to be in the driver's seat.
We have part of our brain, called the hippocampus, that developed after the amygdala. This part of our brain has a bunch more information about modern life than the fear gremlin. The hippocampus helps us tell the difference between a real and a perceived threat. So, we can reassure our fear gremlins that we are, in fact, OK.
Fearful thoughts
After I took voluntary redundancy I decided to take time out to create a new career path. Which meant no income for a while. I had lots of fearful thoughts about not being able to pay my bills and buy food. I felt very unsafe and irresponsible and was worried my decision to change my career was a bad idea.
Taking the driver's seat
After my chat with Jo, I realised my fear gremlin was in the driver's seat and I needed to let it know I was safe. I reassured my fear gremlin the redundancy payment was safely in the bank. I understood my expenses and had a budget. I soothed it further by pointing out my friends and family wouldn't let me starve.
I silently thanked my fear gremlin for the warning and told it I was in the driver’s seat now. I visualised my fear gremlin as a cute spiky ball with a grumpy face muttering away in the back seat. “I’ve got this,” I told myself and my fear gremlin.
What I've learned
Fear is a natural part of life, we need it to survive
Fear won’t go away and will chatter to us constantly
We can accept fear but not let it drive what we do
We can calm our fears with proof we will survive
For more info check out this Smithsonian Magazine article on what happens when the brain feels fear
Trudy x
Note: I’m scared of heights. So, crossing a single person swing bridge is a big challenge for me. This year, I crossed all the single person swing bridges on the Hollyford Track without crying. The photo is of me on one of the swing bridges on the track. My fear gremlin was in my backpack!
